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Showing posts with label Advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Advice. Show all posts

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Six Friendship Rules to Live By

6 Aturan Persahabatan Yang Harus Dijalani
(Terjemahan Indonesia Di Bagian Bawah)

Being friends through thick and thin is no small feat. Make your friendships deeper and stronger with this list of friendship tips.

1. Be Yourself
It may seem like a no-brainer, but a lot of teens struggle not to lose their identity once they become part of a group of friends. Though who you are is always changing, especially during your teenage years, some aspects of your personality will stay pretty much the same. Figure out what those things are and think hard about who you want to be, then present yourself honestly and genuinely to the people you hang around with.

Sometimes you're going to disagree or not be the most popular member of the group. However, you will always feel you've been true to yourself -- and that you haven't become somebody else's clone.

2. Avoid Gossip
Friends don't spread rumors about other friends -- even within their own group. If you've heard something shocking about someone you're friends with, find a considerate way of asking them about it personally.

If you're not sure how to talk to them about it, seek the advice of one other trusted friend, but don't let the discussion turn into a free-for-all about everything you don't like about the person. You certainly wouldn't be happy if someone did that to you, so set a good example for others -- and for yourself.

3. Defend Your Friends
At some point, somebody you're not tight with is going to question the integrity of one of your friends. It's important to find out both sides of the story in a situation like this, but it's also a good chance to show your friend that you have faith in them by standing up for their reputation. Whenever you can, be respectful of the other person's question or criticism but emphasize that your friend is a good person who deserves the respect of others, even when they make mistakes.

4. Protect Your Friends
When a friend of yours is making not-so-great decisions -- whether it's about drugs, alcohol, studying or dating -- do your best to look out for them. This doesn't mean telling them what to do constantly, but you can offer gentle advice and guidance from time to time.

If you give advice in a caring way that shows you value your friend and respect their feelings and wishes, they're much more likely to pay attention. Chances are, what you think means a lot to them, and you can be a good influence.

5. Be Careful About Boyfriends and Girlfriends
It's a good rule of thumb to stray away from dating the exes of your friends. It's an even better rule of thumb to avoid dating the people your friends have crushes on -- or people who have turned down your friends for dates. Even if your friend gives you the go-ahead, wait a while to get involved with someone who broke their heart or betrayed their confidence.

6. Return the Favor
There are times when a friend will lend you a jacket, a textbook or a shoulder to cry on. A good friend will pick you up when you're stuck in a rainstorm and listen patiently when you share a problem with them. Be sure that you're equally as generous with your time, your emotions and your possessions. People will take notice, and it's something to feel good about.



Terjemahan Bebas
6 Aturan Berteman Yng Harus Dijalani


Menjadi sahabat untuk waktu yang lama bukanlah perkara mudah. Buat persahabatanmu menjadi lebih dalam dan lebih erat dengan menjalankan tip2 berikut.

1. Jadilah Diri Sendiri
Banyak orang yang berjuang yang berusaha untuk tidak kehilangan jatidirinya sendiri ketika memasuki suatu komunitas baru. Meskipun begitu, jatidirimu tetaplah akan berubah apalagi jika kamu masih remaja. Beberapa aspek dalam kepribadianmu tetaplah sama, cari tau aspek apa saja itu dan pikirkan kamu inginnya jadi seperti apa, dan tampillah seperti apa adanya ketika berkumpul dengan sahabat2mu.

kadang2 kalian bersilang pendapat atau kamu tidak selalu menjadi yg paling populer, tp bagaimanapun juga kamu telah menjadi diri sendiri dan bukan menjadi fotokopian dari orang lain.

2. Hindari Nggosip
Seorang sahabat tidak akan ngegosipin sahabatnya yg lain (bahkan didalam kelompok itu sendiri). Jika kamu mendengar sahabat kamu digosipin, tanyakan langsung 4 mata dengan temanmu tp carilah cara agar tidak melukai perasaanny.

Jika kamu g tau gmn caranya nanyain langsung, mintalah pendapat sahabatmu yang lain (yg msh sklompok) yang bisa dipercaya. tp ingat, jangan sampai malah kalian berdua yg nggosipin tmnmu itu. kmu tentunya g akan senang jika hal yang sama terjadi terhadapmu. Jd berikan contoh yang baik bagi orang lain (dan bagi dirimu juga!)

3. Bela Sahabatmu!
Suatu saat, temanmu yang lain yg tdk terlalu dekat denganmu meragukan salah satu sahabatmu. Sangat penting untuk mencari tau kabar itu dari 2 sisi (teman biasamu dan dar sahabatmu), ini juga adalah waktu yang tepat untuk menunjukan bahwa kamu mempercayai sahabatmu dan akan memperjuangkan nama baiknya. Kapanpun dan dimanapun, hormatilah pertanyaan dan kritikan dr org lain tp juga tegaskan padanya bahwa sahabatmu adalah orang yg baik dan pantas dihormati org lain meskipun sahabatmu pernah berbuat salah (bukannya membela yang salah tp yakinkanlah bahwa temanmu baik dan tidak sengaja berbuat kesalahan).

4. Lindungi Temanmu.
Ketika sahabatmu memilih keputusan yang salah (Alkohol, Narkoba, ttg sekolah, atw ttg pacaran)lakukan apaun yg kamu bisa untuk membantunya. Ini bukan berarti harus mendiktenya tp kamu bisa memberinya saran dan panduan setiap waktu dibutuhkan.

Jika memberi saran dengan cara tetap memperhatikan perasaan dan keinginannya, biasanya itu akan lebih diterima. Celahnya adalah apa yang menurut kamu sangat berarti baginya, dan kamu bisa mempengaruhinya dengan baik.

5. Hati2 Dengan Para Pacar
Bagus jika kamu bisa menghindari berpacaran dengan mantannya sahabatmu, bahkan sangat bagus jika mantannya sahabatmu itu pernah menghancurkan hati sabatmu. Bahkan jika sahabatmu mengijinkannya, tunggulah beberapa waktu untuk berhubungan dengan orang yang pernah menyakiti dan menghancurkan kepercayaandiri sahabatmu.

6. Balas Budi
Ada saatnya ketika temanmu meminjamkan jaketnya, sweater, buku, atw bahunya untuk tempatmu menangis. Teman yg baik akan membantumu ketika kamu udh mentok dan mendengarkan dengan sabar ketika kamu menceritakan masalahmu. pastikan kamu juga akan melakukan hal yang sama. Sahabatmu akan mengingatnya dan ini tentang bagaimana ia merasa bahwa kamu memang SAHABATnya.

Friday, December 4, 2009

How To Build Your Self-Esteem

Cara Membangun Rasa Bangga Terhadap Diri Sendiri
(Terjemahan Indonesia di bagian bawah)

It may sound a little cheesy, but feeling good about who you are -- that is, having a healthy amount of self-esteem and self-confidence -- is one of those things that will help make your life happier and more successful. Having confidence in yourself and your abilities goes a long way whether you're facing a tough decision, adapting to a new situation or standing up against peer pressure. Here are some tips on how to build your self-esteem.

1. Take a deep breath.
Staying relaxed and being laid-back in general can help you see the bigger picture and not sweat the small stuff so much. It's also a good frame of mind to be in when you're taking a close look at the things you're not so good at.

2. Take inventory of your strengths.
Everybody's good at something, and many people are good at quite a few things. Even if you don't have a talent or strength that you're aware of, you probably have some interests you can develop into strengths.

Make a list of a few things you're good at and a few things you're interested in and would like to be better at. Share this list with your parents, an aunt or uncle, or a teacher you like and trust. They can probably help you find other things you're good at, too, and help you come up with a plan for developing other skills and interests.

3. Realize your limits.
Nobody's perfect -- not even close. It may not always seem this way, but it's true. So if you weren't born a good singer, a super athlete or an "A" student, that's OK. You have a personality and a perspective on the world that's all your own and completely valuable -- even if you suck at basketball, have a big nose or look terrible in leggings.

4. Stop putting yourself down. Now!
One of the biggest things that keeps people from achieving their goals -- and feeling good about themselves -- is negative self-talk. In other words, telling yourself that you're a loser or a failure puts a big damper on your ability to get what you want and be who you want.

If you don't do well at a particular project or task, it doesn't mean that you never will. Perhaps you weren't prepared or the time simply wasn't right. It doesn't mean that you're a lousy human being or that you'll never succeed. It's OK to be upset for a bit when things don't go your way, but after a little while, let it go and move on. You'll be that much closer to achieving what you want if you do.

5. Celebrate progress and small victories.
Did you pass your driver's test or give a killer speech despite feeling nervous? Give credit where credit's due: You did it, and you rule! And guess what? You can tackle bigger, harder projects, too.

6. Pat yourself on the back every day.
Find a few small things that you did well each day. Whether it's waking up on time, smiling at the dorky hall monitor or sending a card to your grandmother, a lot of good can be accomplished in one day -- and it's something to take pride in.



Terjemahan Bebas
Cara Membangun Rasa Bangga Terhadap Diri Sendiri


Ini mungkin terasa aneh, tapi merasa dirimu hebat (ini berarti memiliki rasa percaya diri dan bangga terhadap diri sendiri) adalah hal yang akan membuat hidupmu lebih bahagia dan lebih sukses. Milikilah rasa percaya diri dan kemampuan untuk melewati masa2 sulit, beradaptasi dengan situasi baru atw tegar menghadapi tekanan. Berikut Cara Membangun Rasa Bangga Terhadap Diri Sendiri:

1. Tarik nafas dalam2.
Santai dan ketenangan dapat menolongmu melihat segala sesuatu secara menyeluruh, bukan hanya yang terlihat di permukaannya saja. Ini juga membantu membuatmu mengerti hal2 yang sebelumnya tidak kamu mengerto.

2. Sadari dan kumpulkan keahlian/bakatmu.
Orang2 ahli bidangnya, dan orang lain ahli bidang yang lain. Jika kamu tidak mengetahui apa keahlian/bakatmu, kamu mungkin punya ketertarikan akan sesuatu yang bisa kamu kumpulkan menjadi keahlian/bakatmu.

Buat daftar keahlian/bakatmu dan buat juga daftar hal2 yang menarik minatmu dan kamu ingin melakukannya dengan lebih baik. Curhatlah tentang daftar2 itu dengan orang rua, saudara, teman atw guru yang kamu suka dan bisa dipercaya.

3.Sadari keterbatasanmu.
Tak ada orang yang sempurna, nyaris sempurna pun tak ada!! Kamu mungkin menganggap itu salah dan berfikir bahwa ada orang yang hampir sempurna. Tapi percayalah karena hal ini benar, TAK ADA ORANG YANG SEMPURNA BAHKAN NYARIS SEMPURNA PUN TAK ADA!!! Jadi jika kamu bukan artis, atlit yang hebat atau murid yang populer, GA APA-APA! karena kamu memiliki kepribadian dan cara pandangmu sendiri, dan itu sangat berharga (bahkan meskipun kamu g masuk tim cheersleader, hidung kamu pesek atw besar).

4. Buang jauh2 rasa minder. SEKARANG!!
Hal paling penting yang membuat orang2 tidak mencapai keinginannnya adalah fikiran negatif. Dengan kata lain, minder dan selalu berfikir kamu tak akan mendapatkan apa yang kamu inginkan atau mendapatkan orang yang kamu sukai (untuk mendapatkan orang yang kamu sukai baca juga 10 Cara Mudah PDKT)

jika kamu gagal dalam sesuatu, bukan berarti kamu g akan berhasil. Mungkin saja kamu kurang persiapan atau waktunya belum tepat. Bukan berarti kamu itu pecundang atau g akan berhasil sama sekali. Wajar kalo kmu marah saat sesuatu berjalan tidak seperti yang kmu inginkan, tapi setelah itu lupakan dan lanjutkan hidupmu. itu artinya kmu selangkah lebih dekat dengan apa yang kamu inginkan jika kamu melakukannya.

5. Syukuri perkembangan dan keberhasilan kecil.
Apakah kmu bisa mengemudi (motor/mobil) meskipun instrukturnya cerewet dan nyebelin?? Ambil hikmahnya: kamu berhasil dan sekarang kamu bisa nyetir! ini artinya kamu bisa menangani masalah/proyek yang lebih besar dan lebih sulit.

6. Hibur dirimu setiap hari
Cari hal2 kecil yang bisa membuatmu senang setiap hari. Pagi tersenyumlah dan bilang 'I love U' pada ibumu akan membuatmu lebih senang, atw masih banyak hal2 baik lainnya yang bisa dibanggakan.

How To Break Up With Someone

Cara Mutusin Pacar
(Terjemahan Indonesia Di Bagian Bawah)

You are in a relationship with someone that you are no longer romantically interested in. It's time to be honest.
Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: 60 minutes


Here's How:

1. Get alone with him/her. Don't do this on the phone!

2. Relax. You are doing the right thing...s/he needs to know the truth.

3. Tell him/her that you feel this relationship on its current level needs to end.

4. Give him/her some time to let it sink in.

5. If s/he tries to convince you to give him/her another chance, listen to him/her.

6. Tell him/her that you've made up your mind.

7. Tell him/her at what level you would like to keep your relationship (acquaintences, never-seens, friends, etc).

8. Listen to his/her response. Respect his/her feelings about this new level

9. Let him/her go when s/he feels s/he needs to end the conversation.


Tips:

1. Be honest. Although breakups can be really hard on relationships, honesty will salvage any possible future friendship.

2. When you've realized that you are no longer interested in this person, let him/her know. Don't drag out a pointless relationship.

3. Look at this like taking off a band-aid. Would you rather do it fast or slow? Which one hurts more?


Terjemahan Bebas
Cara Mutusin Pacar


Jika hubungan kalian udh g romantis lg, waktunya untuk jujur...
Tingkat Kesulitan : Susah
Waktu yang dibutuhkan : 60 menit

Ini caranya :

1. Pastikan hanya ada kalian berdua dan jangan lewt telefon.

2. Tenang.. Kamu harus jujur, dia mesti tau apa yang sebenarnya terjadi.

3. Kasih tau dia jika hubungan terus seperti ini maka harus segera diakhiri.

4. Kasih dia waktu untuk memahaminya.

5. Jika dia meyakinkanmu klo dia mau berubah, kamu harus mendengarkannya.

6. Kasih tau dia klo kamu udh menduganya.

7. Kasih tau hubungan seperti apa yang kamu inginkan setelah putus (pendalaman hubungan, temen biasa atw kmu g mau ngliat dia lagi)

8. Liat reaksinya, hormati perasaannya tentang jenis hubungan baru yang kamu inginkan.

9. Jika dia marah dan langsung pergi, biarin...


TIPS:
1. JUJUR. Meskipun putus itu menyakitkan, kejujuran akan mendatangkan hubungan yang lebih baik di masa yang akan datang.

2. Jika kamu merasa udh g tertarik lg ama pacarmu, kasih tau dia, jangan melanjutkan hubungan yang g ada artinya.

3. Bayangkan ketika kmu melepas perban. Mana yang lebih kamu sukai, melepasnya sekaligus atw pelan2? mana yang lebih menyakitkan???

7 Steps for Getting Over a Breakup

7 Langkah Mengobati Sakit Akibat Putus
(Terjemahan Indonesia Di Bagian Bawah)

Whether you just got dumped or you did the dumping, breaking up always hurts a whole lot. There's no quick fix to make the pain go away, but if you follow some key rules for getting over a breakup, things won't hurt so bad.

1. Realize That It's Over
The biggest breakup mistake you can make? Pretending that it didn't happen. You broke up for a good reason, and getting back together isn't an option. (Maybe it will be in a couple of years, when things have changed, but not now.) Until you accept this, you can't start healing.

2. Get Sad
You're allowed to give yourself a couple of days to mope around and cry. Tear up some love notes, sob to your friends, and write some poems (just don't publish anything online - you'll regret it later). Letting yourself be sad will do you better than bottling it all up. After the second day of moping, though, it's time to start snapping out of it.

3. Leave Your Ex Alone
You might want to call or text your ex, but resist the urge. You both need a little time apart from each other, or else you'll never stop hurting. In a couple of months, you might be ready to try out a friendship, but for now, try to avoid all contact.

4. Keep Yourself Busy
The worst way to get over an ex is to sit in your room all alone. Hang out with your friends and family, play some sports, hit the gym or dig into your favorite hobbies. It'll make you feel good and get your mind off of the breakup.

5. Force Yourself to Snap Out of It
After the initial loss, you won't be thinking about your ex nonstop like you used to, but you might find your thoughts trailing back to your breakup. Push those sad thoughts of your head and replace them with happy ones. There's no use dwelling on all the sad stuff forever.

6. Make a Change
Breakups can be good excuses for fresh starts. Make a fun change: give yourself a makeover, get into a new hobby, join a new after-school activity or redecorate your room. It'll make you feel happy and give you a big burst of confidence.

7. Let Time Go By
Time really does heal all wounds. The pain you're feeling now won't last forever, even if it feels like it will. So hang in there - it'll get easier. I promise.



Terjemahan Bebas
7 Langkah Mengobati Sakit Akibat Putus


G penting kamu diputusin atw kmu yang mutusin, putus tetap saja sakit. G ada cara cepat mengobati sakitnya, tapi jika kamu mengikuti langkah2 ini, kmu g akan terlalu sakit.

1. Menerima bahwa itu memang terjadi.
Kesalahan terbesar yang kmu lakukan jika kamu putus adalah berpura2 itu hanya mimpi. kalian putus untuk alasan yang baik, dan balikan bukanlah sebuah pilihan (mungkin kalian bisa balikan, tapi itu beberapa tahun lagi bila keadaan sudah berubah, tapi pastinya bukan sekarang). Sebelum menerima klo kalian memang sudah putus, rasa sakit itu akan selalu ada.

2. Bersedihlah.
Untuk beberapa hari kmu boleh bermuram durja dan menangis. Menangislah di bahu temanmu, curahkan lewat tulisan atw buat puisi (Tapi jgn diposting k blog kamu atw kamu akan menyesal nantinya). Bersedih akan membuatmu lebih baik daripada memendamnya sendiri. Setelah beberapa hari bermuram durja, skrg waktunya membuang jauh2 mslh itu.

3. Biarkan mantanmu sendirian.
Kamu mungkin ingin menelefon atw mengirimnya SMS, tp tahanlah keinginan itu. kalian berdua butuh waktu menyendiri atau kalian akan terus saling menyakiti. setelah beberapa bulan mungkin kamu akan siap untuk menjalin pertemanan, tapi sekarang hindari semua kontak. (Jika sudah beberapa bulan, baca juga Tips Berteman Dengan Mantan Pacar)

4. Sibukkan dirimu.
Cara terburuk melupakan pacar adalh diam seharian dikamar. jalan2lah dengan temanmu, keluargamu, berolahraga atw lakukan hobimu. itu akan membuatmu merasa lebih baik dan menjauhkan pikiranmu dari perpisahan itu.

5. Paksa dirimu untuk melupakannya.
Setelah putus, kamu tidak akan memikirkan mantanmu seperti biasanya, tapi kamu akan terus memikirkan kenapa kalian putus. Buang jauh2 pikiran sedih itu dan ganti dengan sesuatu yang menyenangkan. G ada gunanya menyimpan kesedihan selamanya.

6. Buat Perubahan.
Perpisahan bisa menjadi awal untuk memulai sesuatu yang baru. Buat perubahan yang menyenangkan, makeover dirimu, cari hobbi baru, kumpul2 lagi dengan teman2 lamamu ataw dekorasi ulang kamarmu. itu semua akan membuatmu lebih senang dan memberimu banyak rasa percaya diri.

7. Biarkan waktu mengalir.
Waktu sungguh akan mengobati lukamu, rasa sakit yang kamu rasakan sekarang lambat laun akan hilang. Jadi tabahlah, itu semua akan mudah untuk dilalui. Saya Yakin!!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

How To Be Friends with an Ex

Tips Berteman Dengan Mantan Pacar
(Terjemahan Indonesia Di Bagian Bawah)

Things weren't right with your girlfriend or boyfriend, so you broke up. But you still care about them and want to be friends. Sometimes this is possible. Here are some tips on how to be friends with your ex.
Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: A lot of time and patience

Here's How:

1. Make sure you're over them. Even if you're going to be the best of friends, you both still need some time to collect yourself after breaking up.

2. Make sure your intentions are good. Being "friends" with an ex just to torment them or to prevent them from dating other people doesn't help anyone in the long run. In fact, it makes you look really bad.

3. Check in on them. Send a friendly text message or call them on their birthday. Ask them how things are going. Find out what's new in their life and how they've changed since you dated. Be supportive of their individuality.

4. Let them know that you feel positive about them as a person and that you'd like to be friends with them -- real friends. If you were there for them as a girlfriend or boyfriend, you can be there for them as a friend, too.

5. Tell them that you think they're great and that, for the most part, you wouldn't change a thing about them. (Well, unless they're doing something really mean or stupid.) An ego boost can help mend some of the leftover wounds from the breakup.

6. Avoid sexual and romantic topics -- and the temptation to flirt -- especially when you're starting the friendship. This can be tricky if you have been involved with someone romantically, but you can do it if you stay focused. You don't want to lead the other person on, and you certainly don't want them to lead you on either.

7. At first, keep your conversations and meetings short and, if possible, fun. Remind them just how great you are to hang out with. However, set limits for how often you'll talk to them and hang out with them.

8. Keep working toward your own goals. Don't fall back into negative old patterns from the relationship. Develop your own interests and encourage your ex to do the same.

9. If your ex doesn't seem interested in a friendship, you need to respect their wishes. It may be a possibility in the future, but for now, focus on your other friends.

10. Also, if your ex is not treating you with the same respect you expect of any other friend, it's not a good time to pursue a friendship with them.


Tips:

1. Tell a good friend about your efforts to be friends with your ex and ask them to look out for you. (Hopefully you won't need to ask!)

2. Be friendly, kind and consistent with your ex. Remind them often that you're glad they're a part of your life.

3. Don't blow them off to hang out with your new crush. In general, be aware that they might still be feeling a bit sensitive about some aspect of the breakup and feel weird about you seeing other people.

4. It's quite possible that your ex may not be up for a friendship. Be forgiving and move on if this is the case.



Terjemahan Bebas
Tips Berteman Dengan Mantan Pacar


Hubungan kalian tidak berjalan lancar sehingga kalian putus. Tapi kamu masih peduli terhadapnya dan masih ingin menjadi temannya. Kadang2 hal ini mungkin saja terjadi, berikut beberapa tips untuk tetap berteman dengan mantan pacar.
Tingkat Kesulitan : SUSAH
Waktu : Lama dan butuh kesabaran

Berikut cara2nya:

1.Yakinkan dirimu kalo kalian memang sudah putus. Bahkan meskipun kamu sangat ingin menjadi teman yang baik, kalian berdua tetap butuh waktu untuk membiasakan diri setelah putus.

2.Pastikan kamu memang berniat untuk jd temannya (niatnya jgn agar CLBK lho). Jadi "temen" mantan hanya untuk menyiksa dan mencegahnya dpt pacar baru tidak akan berjalan mulus, bahkan hal itu hanya akan membuatmu terlihat "buruk".

3.Jgn kehilangan kontak, keep in touch. kirim SMS atw telp jika dia Ulang Tahun, tanya kabarnya, cari tau apa yg berubah sejak kalian putus dan dukunglah kegiatannya.

4.Pastikan dia tau klo mendukungnya sebagai teman dan kamu ingin menjadi teman yang baik. Jika dulu kamu bisa menjadi pacarnya, maka sekarang kamu pasti bisa menjadi temannya.

5.Katakan padanya klo klo kmu tetap berfikir dia baik, dan hal itu takkan berubah (kecuali klo dia memang bajingan dan sangat menyakitimu, jgn bilang bahwa dia baik). Meredam ego dapat menolongmu mengobati sisa2 luka hati akibat putus.

6.Hindari topik2 romantis atw sex (dan jangan genit), apalagi ketika kmu baru memulai untuk manjadi temannya, hal ini sangat mungkin terjadi tapi kamu bisa melaluinya jika kamu tetap fokus.

7.Pada tahap awal, usahakan agar obrolan dan pertemuan kalian singkat saja dan jika mungkin, menyenangkan. Kasih tau dia kalo kamu senang ngobrol dengannya, tapi batasi waktu ngobrol dan nongkrong dengannya.

8.Tetap pada niatmu semula, jangan plin-plan terus kepengen balikan. Kembangkan hobimu dan biarkan mantanmu ikutan jika dia memang suka.

9.Jika mantanmu ga tertarik jadi temenmu, kamu harus menghormati keputusannya, mungkin nanti dia juga mau. Sekarang fokus saja pada temanmu yang lain.

10. Dan juga juka mantanmu tidak memperlakukanmu seperti yang kamu harapkan, tak ada gunanya memaksakan kehendak untuk berteman dengannya.


TIPS:

1.Curhat ama temen deketmu ttg usahamu berteman dengan mantamu, minta pendapatnya (ini jika dianggap perlu)

2.Bersahabat, ramah dan konsistenlah terhadap mantanmu. Biarkan dia tau klo kamu senang berteman dengannya.

3.Jangan merusak hubungan dengan masalah baru, mungkin dia masih sensitif tentang beberapa hal yang menyebabkan kalian putus sehingga merasa aneh terhadap caramu memperlakukan orang lain.

4.Sangat mungkin mantanmu belum siap menjadi temanmu, jika ini yang terjadi berbesarhatilah dan lanjutkan hidupmu tanpanya.

10 Easy Flirt Tips

10 Cara Mudah PDKT
(Terjemahan Indonesia Di Bagian Bawah)

Flirting's a language - and just like with any other language, no one's born a fluent flirt. If you want to know how to flirt like a pro, you've got to learn the signs. Follow these flirt tips and practice till you're an expert flirt.

1. Choose Your Targets
You don't have to have a crush on someone in order to flirt. Practice flirting with random people you see every day - people who might not even be on your dating radar - on order to hone your skills. That way, you'll have some flirting experience under your belt when you approach the people who really matter.

2. Have an Opening Line
Find a reason to talk to the person. If you're in a class with them, come up with a question about an assignment. If they're standing in line behind you at a concert, ask about the band. Get creative, and be ready to respond to whatever they say.

3. Make Eye Contact
If you don't make eye contact, you'll look bored or uninterested, and that's not an impression you want to give. Too shy to look them right in the eyes? Here's a trick: look at the spot right between their eyes. It'll look like eye contact to them.

4. Come Up With a Compliment
Pick one thing you like about the way they look - like their hair, their smile or an article of clothing. Let them know in a friendly way how much you like it. It'll make them feel good and will open them up to you. (If you can't think of an opening line for tip #2, a compliment will do.)

5. Smile
You don't have to go all Bozo the Clown, but the idea is to look like you enjoy talking to them. So be sure to throw them a smile whenever it makes sense. If they shoot one back, you'll know that they like talking to you, too.

6. Flirt With Your Body
The body language you use when you flirt is just as important as what you say. Use good posture, point your body towards the person and try to find excuses to touch them. For more on how to do that, check these body language flirting tips.

7. Keep It Light
You'll get a way better response if you chat about fun, happy stuff (like your new puppy) than serious or sad stuff (like when your puppy got hit by a train). The point of flirting isn't to bare your soul or share your honest opinions about everything. It's to open the door to lots more conversations down the road.

8. Beware of Awkward Silences
Once the convo drags, it's probably gone for good. Fill an awkward silence by asking the other person a question. Can't think of one? Ask them about something they're wearing or something in your environment (like a painting on the wall, or the music that's playing).

9. Wrap It Up
If you're not interested in talking anymore, politely find an excuse to head off into the sunset. If you are interested, give them a way to get in touch with you - like your phone number or Facebook name. This is (hopefully) just your first convo of many, so save some of that charm for the next time.

10. Practice, Practice, Practice
No one's perfect at flirting the first time around. If the idea of flirting still gives you butterflies, don't worry - it just means that you need more practice. The more you flirt, the easier it'll get.



Terjemahan Bebas
10 Cara Mudah PDKT


Bahasa tubuh untuk PDKT sama seperti bahasa lainnya, tak ada orang yang dilahirkan dengan kemahiran melakukan itu. Jika ingin jago dalam hal PDKT, ikuti 10 Tips and Tricks berikut ini:

1.Pilih Target
Jangan lebay klo mau PDKT. Cobalah praktekkan ke semua orang setiap hari (bahkan k org yang bukan target kamu, PDKT kan bkn cuman ttg cinta), hal ini perlu untuk mengasah kemampuanmu. Dengan begitu, kmu akan punya pengalaman ketika saatnya datang untuk PDKT dengan kecengan kamu.

2.Memulai Pembicaraan
Cari cara untuk memulai pembicaraan, jika kamu sekelas mulailah dgn yang berhubungan dgn kegiatan kelas seperti tugas, acara kelas, ngomongin guru killer (hehe, yang ini tidak direkomendasikan lho). Kreatif dikit, tanyain apa aja dan siap2 untuk merespon apapun jawaban doi..

3.Tatap Matanya
Jika kamu g natap matanya, kamu akan terlihat membosankan dan tidak menarik, dan itu bukan kesan pertama yang ingin kamu berikan kan??? Jika kamu terlalu pemalu untuk menatap matanya, cobalah melihat ke tengah2 antara kedua matanya (itu tuh daerah "T"). Bagi doi, itu akan terlihat seperti menatap matanya.

4.Mulailah dengan pujian
Puji penampilannya, seperti rambutnya, senyumnya atau bajunya. Biarkan dia tau klo kmu suka, tp lagi-lagi, plis dong, jgn lebay... jika doi tau klo kmu suka penampilannya, doi akan lebih terbuka... (memuji jg bisa diterapkan jika kamu g ada ide bwt tips No.2)

5.Senyum
Kmu g harus selalu tersenyum kayak badut Cape dueehh.. Intinya, kamu harus terlihat menikmati percakapan itu. Jadi tersenyumlah ketika emang waktunya tepat. jika doi jg tersenyum, kamu akan tau klo doi jg seneng ngobrol ama kamu..

6.Gunakan Bahasa tubuh
Bahasa tubuh ketika PDKT sama pentingnya dengan kata2. Bersikap baik dan klo bisa berhadap2anlah, cari alasan untuk menyentuhnya. Untuk menguasai lebih lanjut bahasa tubuh baca buku ini Body Language Flirting Tips.

7.Tetap Ceria

Kamu akan mendapat Respon yang lebih baik jika membicarakan sesuatu yang menyenangkan (ex: peliharaan baru atau baju baru) daripada ngobrol ttg sesuatu yg berat atw menyedihkan (ex: Peliharaanmu ketabrak mobil atw Baju2mu digondol maling). Inti dari PDKT adalah untuk membuka jiwamu dan berbagi pendapat yg baik dalam segala hal. PDKT adalah pintu masuk untuk bertukar pendapat/fikiran yang lebih banyak di kemudian hari..

8.Hindari saling diam
Jika obrolan terus bergulir, itu pertanda bagus. Hindari jeda, isilah dengan menanyakan apapun. G ada ide??? cobalah tanya ttg pakaiannya atw ttg sesuatu yg ada disekitar kalian (seperti coretan di dinding atw lagu apa yg terdengar).

9.Akhiri Dengan Indah
(peterpan Kaleee...)
Jika kamu mau udahan ngobrolnya, minta ijin dan carilah alasan yang sopan. Jika kmu mau, kmu bisa ngasih doi No HP atw alamat Facebook kamu. Ini (mudah2an) cuma satu dari obrolan lain yg akan datang, jadi simpan daya tarikmu untuk lain kali.

10.Praktek, praktek dan praktek.
Tak ada yg langsung jago PDKT pada percobaan pertama. Jika kamu tetep susah untuk PDKT, don't worry... Itu artinya kmu msh butuh lbh banyak latihan. Dengan lebih banyak latihan, kamu akan lebih mudah PDKT dgn siapapun, cowo, cewe atw bahkan guru (bwt nanyain kisi2 ujian).

Selamat Berlatih...

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

How To French Kiss

An introduction to the seductive art of French Kissing.
Difficulty: Easy
Time Required: N/A


Here's How:

1. Set the scene. Make sure that the mood and time are right.

2. Relax! Take a deep breath and let go of any tension in your neck and shoulders.

3. Put your arms around the person you want to kiss.

4. Start off with a normal kiss, not too firm, not too aggressive. Closing your eyes is optional.

5. In mid kiss, gently open your mouth and softly nudge the other persons mouth open using your tongue.

6. Again, not too aggressively, move your tongue inside the other persons mouth and playfully touch their tounge.

7. Read the other persons body language, if they seem tense or start to pull away, stop what you are doing.

8. If they open their mouth more or otherwise indicate they like the kiss, keep on doing what you have been only with a little more passion.

9. As the kissing gets going saliva build up can be a problem, don't forget to swallow.

10. Make sure you keep your tongues relaxed but your lips tight (saliva again), you don't want the kiss to turn messy.


Tips:

1. Don't forget to breathe.

2. Since French Kissing is "wetter" than other kinds of kissing it is a good idea to start with dry lips, don't lick them first.

3. If one of you have braces you can still French Kiss, you just have to be more careful and not as forceful when things get passionate.

4. If both of you wear braces you can still French Kiss, you just have to be very gentle and avoid touching teeth.

5. French Kissing takes practice, but at least it is fun to practice this one!

10 Tips on How to Kiss

Wanna perfect your French kissing technique, or just want the basics on how to kiss for the first time? Follow these kissing tips the next time you're ready to smooch.

1. Find the Right Time to Kiss
The best time for a first kiss is when you're alone, there's a pause in the conversation and you're both looking into each other's eyes. Help make this moment happen by finding a way to get away from the crowd, standing or sitting close to your partner, making eye contact and letting the convo come to a natural breaking point. You'll both know when the moment is right.

2. Don't Obsess About Your Breath

Your breath doesn't need to be any more minty fresh than your kissing partner's. (For instance, if you both just had dinner together and ate equally garlicky meals, you'll be fine.) Bring some mints with you, but don't pop them obsessively. It's not necessary and it'll make you look over-eager.

3. Start With Your Lips
The first thing that comes to mind when you think about french kissing is tongue, but that shouldn't come right away - you'll have to ease into it. Start just by lightly kissing their lips (either their top lip, their bottom lip or both) with yours.

4. Don't Make Your Tongue the Star of the Show
A kiss without any tongue at all is perfectly fine. But if you want to take it to the next level, open your mouth a little wider, gently touch your tongue against theirs, and let the tips of your tongues "play around" together. Don't do much more than that, though. When it comes to tongue, a little goes a long way.

5. Use Your Hands Wisely
The best spots to place your hands are around your partner's neck or waist, on the back of your partner's head, or if you want to be extra-romantic, against your partner's cheeks. Never just leave them by your side! That would be a total waste.

6. Don't Forget to Breathe
Take regular breaks to pull away and look into your partner's eyes. It'll give you a chance to catch your breath and share a smile.

7. Mix It Up
Don't leave your lips or your tongue in the same spot for more than a couple of seconds. The initial excitement of a first kiss is thrilling, but things can get boring awfully quickly if you don't vary your style a little.

8. When In Doubt, Follow Their Lead

You don't need to be an expert on kissing to share a great kiss. If you're not sure what to do, just let your partner take over and go with the flow. As long as the two of you like each other and are concentrating on the magic of the moment, it'll go great.

9. It's Okay to Laugh
You might be tempted to laugh or make a little joke to ease the tension or hide some your nervousness. Go for it. Your partner's probably just as nervous as you are, and it'll ease the tension for them, too.

10. Know When to End It
If this is your first time kissing this person, keep things brief. There'll be plenty more chances to kiss, and you want to leave them dying to lock lips with you the next time.

How to find your Bra size

Sizes mean nothing!! One manufacturer's size 8 is another one's 12. UK sizes look the same as US, but they're not. Because US sizing has changed over the years, finding your size in vintage clothing can be a challenge. But armed with your accurate measurements, you can decipher any sizing system.

What you'll need - A cloth tape measure and a full length mirror. Take measurements undressed or in lightweight clothes. Pull the tape measure snug, but not too tight. Keep your arms at your side and have a friend take the measurements, for the best results. And don't slouch! Stand up nice and tall.mannequin.gif

Bust
Measure around the shoulder blades, under the armpits and over the fullest part of the bust.

Waist
Find your natural waistline and measure.

Hip

Measure the fullest part of the hip (usually about 7-9 inches below the waist)

Bra Size

1. Wear a comfortable bra and measure the rib cage just below the breast. If the number is 33 or less, add 5 inches to that number and that is your bra size. Over 33 inches add 3 inches to get you bra size. Both ways, rounding odd numbers up to even.

2. Then take measure the bust around the fullest part. When you subtract the last number (fullest part) by the among of your bra size, you'll come up with a number used to determine cup size by using the chart below (the A,B,C, etc. cup chart) For example if your bra size was 36 and your cup measurement was 38, the difference is 2" so you would wear a 36B.

Use this chart:

AA = 1/2"
A = 1"
B = 2"
C = 3"
D = 4"
DD or E = 5"
F = 6"
G = 7"

How to Find the Right Bra

Buying a bra may seem simple but it is actually quite complex. First and foremost it is essential that you know your correct size (click here for further information). A properly fitted bra is essential for both comfort and posture and is especially important during the teen years when your body is growing.

The Importance of Knowing Your Bra Size
A poorly fitting bra can cause back problems, muscle tension, and even headaches. Since teens are still growing the strains caused by an improperly fit bra can lead to life long problems with posture and back pain. To ensure that you are wearing the right size bra you should be fit by a lingerie consultant once a year or after every noticeable growth spurt.

Different Bras for Different Reasons
After you have the right size the next thing to think about is why the bra is needed. Is it for support, coverage, comfort or athletics? Bras come in a variety of fits and fabrics. There are different styles of bras designed for specific body types, fashions and activities. No one bra can do it all!

First/Training Bras
Training bras are for young girls who have started to develop breasts but do not yet fit the standard bra sizes. A young girl who has started to develop breasts should wear a training bra but there is no harm in letting a girl get one before there is a real need. Remember, training bras are intended for girls of any age who have started to get breasts and who are not yet able to be fitted with a regular bra. If your breast size warrants a full fitting bra you should wear one, even if you are very young.

Light Support Bras
Light support bras usually have no under wire and are good for girls with smaller breasts. They are less constricting than full support bras and many girls feel that they are more comfortable. Because they are wireless they offer less shaping than other bras and are most flattering on trimmer figures. These bras come in padded and unpadded versions, which you choose is really a matter of personal preference.

Full Support Bras
Full support bras usually have an under wire or plastic boning holding them up. They can be worn by girls of any breast size and are a must for those with larger cup sizes. These bras offer a shapely cut and have a structured build. These also come in padded or unpadded version and are flattering on any figure type.

Push Up Bras
Once called padded bras, push up bras are designed to show off cleavage. These bras lift the breasts and add shape to them with extra padding. Some more innovative push up bras use silicone inserts or water sacks to imitate the fullness of a natural breasts. They are said to lift and separate creating a full cleavage look on breasts of all sizes. These bras always offer lots of support.

Sports Bras
Of all the bras the sports bra is probably the most important one for growing teens to have. Sports bras stop the breasts from moving during athletic activity. Breast tissue is very delicate and growing breast tissue needs to be protected during high impact exercise. Even girls with smaller breasts should invest in a good sports bra if they take physical education or participate in sports.

Do you have what it takes to be a model?

So you want to be a model? Do you have what it takes? Many pretty-in-person girls make terrible models and sometimes the plain Janes just take your breath away on film. It takes much more than just a pretty face and a slim figure to make it as a mainstream model. You need to have the total package, a mix of genetics and personality, in order to thrive in the modeling industry. So what traits does a successful model need to have? Some of the qualities of a mainstream model are obvious but the others may surprise you.

What is a mainstream model?

When we talk about making it as a mainstream model we are talking about the models you see in magazines and advertisements. There are specialty models, models with a specific look or talent, but that is not the type of model we are talking about here. Plus sized models, niche models, body part models and models with unique skills are some examples of specialty models but we want to tell you what agents look for in the average model. The base line parameters are very small, models need to have a specific body type, be within a certain height range and have good bone structure. Have these core ingredients and you have a good shot at making it as a model. Have the right skills and personality and you just may be the next supermodel.

What do modeling agents look for when signing a new model?

When agents look for new models to sign they look for a very specific set of physical criteria. How you look is definitely the first thing agents see. First and foremost models need to be tall and slim; for the most part they need to be slimmer than the average girl. This is the reason that the modeling industry gets such a bad rap, because the call for slim models could be seen as promoting an unrealistic body image. While this is a valid criticism there are some equally valid reasons that models need to be slender. Clothes hang better on a smaller body and the fashion industry is essentially about selling clothes and other trappings of style like cosmetics, skin care, accessories, and perfumes.

The fashion industry’s love-affair with skinny girls is not part of a conspiracy against average sized bodies. Slimmer figures are important on the runway but they also photograph better. Why? Pictures are two dimensional and for this reason the body loses some of its angles in photographs. Without the proper angles even slender girls can appear heavy in pictures. Lighting plays an important role in counteracting the flattening effects of photography but it can’t correct for all the effects of transferring a three dimensional object on to a two dimensional piece of paper. Using a slim model also helps eliminate the problems associated with losing the all important angles.

What is meant by “having good angles” or “knowing your angles?”

Often you’ll hear agents and photographers talking about “knowing your angles” and this is something that contributes to the next important trait that models must have; models must be photogenic. They must take a good picture. Even the prettiest girls can take terrible pictures and the reasons are simple. Some elements of being photogenic can be learned but many of them are at the mercy of genetics.

Knowing your angles, knowing how to pose and knowing how to hold a pose convincingly without looking strained are important and can all be learned. What can’t be learned is bone structure. Models almost always have very angular faces with strong yet balanced features. Symmetry is also important; most models have very symmetrical faces meaning one eye is not bigger or lower on the face than the other, the nose is centered on the face, the cheekbones are high and level and the jaw line is even. Ironically, angular faces are often considered odd looking in real life. In a three dimensional world angles create shadowing which can look strange at times.

Other than the physical attributes what else makes for a good model?

The final thing agents look for is posture. Good posture is a modeling must as 70% of a models career is runway modeling. Unless you make it as a super-model, or build a less glamorous catalogue career, making it as a model will mean walking a runway. Good posture and a solid walk are essential modeling skills but they can be learned. If a girl fits the mold in every way but lacks good posture an agent may still sign her with the hope that she can learn to stand straight and walk tall. However, if a slouchy model doesn’t ever develop good posture she may find her career is cut short. For this reason having good posture from the get go is a definite bonus.

As with any job personality is important as well. An ideal model will have a strong sense of self with well developed self esteem and a resilient psychological make up. Modeling is stressful work and models are exposed to all sorts of potentially self destructive influences. Modeling is a glamorous life and with the glamour comes an element of risk. Models are at a very great risk for falling prey to the trappings of glamour; alcohol, drugs, late night partying and unhealthy dieting regimes are always around. It takes a girl of strong character to face these things without succumbing to the temptations. Do agents really look for strong and grounded personalities? Yes and no. While they won’t turn down a promising girl because she seems insecure or uncertain of herself they may take a not-quite-as-shining prospect because she does have the right personality.

What are the basic must have traits for any mainstream model?


It all sounds pretty shallow because it is. In the end models are clothes hangers and their role in the fashion industry is to make clothes look good so that they will sell. It is an industry heavily influenced by physical appearances. To recap, making it as a model requires the following traits and skills:

* A slim build
* A height somewhere between 5'8" and 5'11" (there are exceptions)
* Good bone structure with a symmetrical and angular face
* Being naturally photogenic and/or a good knowledge of ones “angles”
* Good posture and a strong runway walk (learned or natural)


Modeling is not without a social conscience. There are people in the industry who are very concerned about the eating disordered, drug and alcohol abusing, party-on image models seem to cultivate. However in the end modeling is a money-making venture and whether or not a girl will be able to sell herself, the clothes she wears and the products she endorses are what is most important to industry leaders. Models have a mold and unless we are talking about specialty modeling to succeed in the industry you must fit the mold. Beauty aside, because as already noted not all models would be called pretty in real life, models must be able to project a desirable image. They must seem ideal so that the average woman will want to spend the money to be like them, wear what they wear, and use the cosmetics that they use. If you have what it takes to sell yourself and you fit the mold you just may make it as a model.

The Model Mold

To recap, here's the basic blueprint for your average model. If you fit this description the next step is looking for an agency that will sign you.

* A slim build
* A height somewhere between 5'8" and 5'11" (there are exceptions)
* Good bone structure with a symmetrical and angular face
* Being naturally photogenic and/or a good knowledge of ones “angles”
* Good posture and a strong runway walk (learned or natural)